Looks Do Count-Value (Marraige)

 For the  past couple of weeks i have been hearing of comments about changing the

way you look/act (outter) so you can get married.

All I can think is I thought it was character that counts?

This may sound  like a  generalized thought, but it seems if looks do make up a great part of your "Value" when it comes to marriage.

In my opinion this whole looks do count is a serious problem because it is small comments about the way we look which affects our confidence, this is why girls refuse to wear loosely and no-makeup because no doubt comments about looks has had an impact on their confidence.

 Sometimes when people comment on the way I dress I think oh so you are trying to telling me I should dress in a more attractive way just to get married?At the same time I think hey maybe they are right if I wear those tight clothes, makeup, change my scarf style, and etc no doubt I would attract more guys but is that what I want my value to be in?  

What happen to character- is this not apart of our value?

The reality is sometimes, or maybe most of the times looks outweigh everything else...

I dont even want to finish writing this post because of how annoyed I am, but heres a quote from my favorite book-Dont Be Sad which wil make you think twice about what makes your value

"Therefore your value is in your abilities, good deeds, manners, and contributions to society. Do not feel grief over that which has passed you by in life in terms of good looks, wealth, or family; and be content with what Allah has allotted you"

See thats what  I thought but then I started to heard these comments, but humdAllah I came across this quote right after I started to think about this whole concept of  how your looks contribute alot to your value...

"If you are a seeker of enjoyment, be satisfied with the looks Allah has favored you with..."

I Will....Liar!

I will___________________

-give you this - get you that  - send you this

-take you here -visit you -call you back

- help you -buy you this -come

I will...?

How many times have you heard someone say I WILL, and then you only wait and see that they never did...what do you think of this person? Dont say I will if you feel you are incapble of performing the task, because this statement of I will is seen as a form of promiss, and they one who breaks the promiss is seen as a liar.

Aisha said, " The prohet hated nothing more than lying. If he found out someone was lying he would lose his respect until he has repented"

If the this is the state of mind of our Prophet, I dont find it wrong to be upset when I feel someone has lied to me. The lies of people always remain in the back of my head for some reason, I cant forget if you told me I will and you did not...I dont know if this is bad, but I think I have the right to remeber..?

Dont tell someone I WILL if you dont have the sincere intention to do that thing, and make sure to always add inshallah, or if you are not really sure you can then just say I WILL TRY.

This makes a big difference. I despise people who lie and forget about their promises. The worst part is you cant really confront a person on these matters because they will return only anger, unless they are very patient then you will probably  have a calm reaction.

One of the characterstic tics of the hypocrite that the Prophet described is

"when he made a covenant he acted treacherously"

Be careful when you make a covenant with someone, because if you break it you may fall into this hadith, dont be of the one who says "yes I will" and then forget, this make you be seen as a liar.

The other characteristic in this hadith is "when he talked he lied"

Once you say I will and you dont, the other person may see you as a liar...

Allah Alone-Ya Allah!Express Yourself To Him

"Truly there in your heart there is a void which annot be removed exccpet with the company of Allah.And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed excpet with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. There is an emptiness that cannot be filled excpet with love for Him and by turning to Him and always rembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it it would not fill this emptiness" -Ibn Alqayim via Dont Be Sad book

 Turn to Allah instead, and open up your heart to Him alone: what an amazing state of mind, I wish I can achieve inshallah,  open your heart up to Allah, and you will never regret expressing yourself-

Sometimes Sabr and silence is better than expressing how you really feel -HalfOurDeen

 Allah would never make you feel down. He answers your duaa in the way that is best for you, He LOVES when you run to Him in tears! He wants you to turn to Him.

" If you come to a test where you have no friend other then Allah than know that you

have the greatest gift" -Dr.Shadee AlMasry

"When we are broken-hearted or down we have to look at this as a gift, because this is a chance to go to Allah:dont go to people when you are sad, go to Allah. The closest to Allah are the ones who are the most broken. Its easy to turn to Allah when you are broken in this world"

No doubt it is easier to turn to Allah when you are broken in this world, when dunya is going well you dont really think as much about turning to Allah, this is stated in the Quran:30:33

And when harm touches men, they cry sincerely only to their Lord (Allah), turning to Him in repentance, but when He gives them a taste of His Mercy, behold! a party of them associate partners in worship with their Lord.

Yasmine Mogheds article "Why do people have to leave each other" explains exctally the feelings I felt all these years, but I fail to do what she has done and this is to realize that

"To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes."

Oh Allah please make it easy for me to always turn to you Alone and remeber you!

Muslims Love Love: Page Views

I didnt think I would get that many viewers on my blog: 1888 views :o...

Thanks to my marriage post which has 720 views ever since  I potsed it on Tuesday.... lol thats how you know its a hot topic!! Also thanks to Half Our Deen which posted it on their FB, and of course only through Allah has this blog reached all of these viewers worldwide (I LOVE seeing the little map which shows my readers from all these different countries!) I wish I can visit all of these countries! Inshallah

http://hudawritess.blogspot.com/2012/05/marriage-efforts-approaching-him.html

Sample of the cool map! (Other countries also on list like Finland and Belgium I didnt even know there was Muslims there!!! Subhnallah our ummah is HUGE!)

United States 309 United Kingdom 148 Malaysia 84 Canada 66 Australia 45 Singapore 27 India 26 Pakistan 24 United Arab Emirates 19 South Africa 15

Surah AlRahman-Favorite

Did I ever mention how much I love Surat AlRahman?

Surah Rahman - Beautiful and Heart trembling Quran recitation by Syed Sadaqat Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hod05lHgsMg

I Like him! Marriage, Efforts, & Approaching him

How many times have you heard the following statement:

"I like him, but how do I tell him?!"
 (halal way-with marriage intention)

You like this amazing guy, or possibly just admire him, you see him everywhere you go, or maybe that one time at that event, and you notice he has everything your looking for, or thats what you thought, you want to tell him, but you cant, you want to start a conversation in a non-haram way, should you CC your dad in an email, add him on facebook, or should you tell his best friend, ? You really want to get your message across, but you dont know what to do.

What type of efforts should you put alongside with your duaa?

How do we approach marriage?

No one knows....because there is no one answer fits all for this type of situation..

All I know for now is that you can make some duaa, and Inshallah if Allah wants it He will make it happen, but at the same time I was taught that with duaa, you must put in effort.

I was taught by I.Elfahymoui that,

1.Pre-requisites to get the help of Allah you have to put effort first

2. Do everything in your power to get what you seek, if you prepare correctly you will get it.

3.If you want something good in this dunya then put forth towards it.

4.Istkhara is a form of tawkal, you dont pray it with doubts.
5.Tawkal is not the idea of giving up, it is a proactive attuide. It is the attuide of 'Il will go full esteem ahaed and I will not worry.Push forward all you have and if there are roadblocks dont worry. Allah opens up the way for those who have yaqn (Certanity).

So you cant just make duaa that Allah will get you married to this amazing guy, you have to put effort right? And you have to have tawkal (trust),yaqn(certanity) and make salaat istghara ?

So you want that amazing guy? You really want to marry him? Make tawkal, and go full-esteem ahead! But how? You want to keep it halal, you dont want to break the muhram rule!
http://hudawritess.blogspot.com/2012/03/protect-me-baba-guardian-rule.html
 

The question is in the siution of approaching marriage,
what type of halal efforts should we put in?

 

Im sure you have meet someone with the same question

  I have heard of alot of stories about this whole "how do I approach him" kind of issue.

 No doubt telling someone you like them is one of the most exciting but hardest things
to do and how do you do it without displeasing Allah?
 

There are so many stories  of Muslims goin through this journey to find thier spouse, there is no "one way" to find your spouse, there is no "one person" to go to if you are interested in him, there is no prescribed way on how to "put efforts".

The most you can do for now in the most halal way is make duaa.

Coping Skills In Islam

Islam teaches us the best coping skills

If you read my last post, I decided its time for me to do daily reading again, since the semester is over, and humdallah last night I found this book answering all of my feelings for the past week.

(Black quotes from the book:Dont Be Sad)

"Do not expect gratitude from anyone"

This chapter relates to one of my posts I posted about four days ago, about gratitude...its quite similar I love the way the author explained it he writes,

"So be at peace if you are requited with ungratefulness for the good you have done. Rejoice in your knowledge that you will be rewarded from the One who has unlimited treasures at His disposal."

What a great state of mind! Inshallah gona always keep this in mind when I feel as if people have not been thankful.

"..most human beings are ungrateful to thier Lord, so what treatment should you and I expect?"

Subhnallah, sad but true...

"Doing Good To Others Gives Comfort to the Heart"

This was a great chapter to read as I was preparing myself to go help out Taybah mother of  the three handicapped girls-helpourgirls.com

"Furthermore, the psychological benefits that one receives from helping others are indeed great. If you suffer from depression, an act of charity will have a more potent effect on your sickness than will the best available medicine"

I never thought of charity as a remedy, love this!

"Repel Boredom With Work"

One of the reasons why I choose to start reading again is because I felt like after school ended I was wasting my time doing nothing (I gota admit I still waste it) I really needed to read this..

"When you find yourself to be idle, prepare for depression and despair, because idleness allows your mind to wander in the past, future, with all of their difficulties. Therefore my sincere advice to you is to perform fruitful acts instead of being idle"

Being idle is not good for the brain, thats true!

"Pre-Ordainment"

This chapter just hit my brain in the perfect spot, I reallly needed to read the following

"Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to befall you:If this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardship and difficulty would become ease and comfort. For this reason do not feel overly troubled if you are afflicted with sickness, the death of a son, or a loss in wealth. Allah has decreed these matters. You will never completely feel at ease until you firmly believe that Allah has already pre-ordanined all matters"

I think I read this chapter the last time I read the book, because I always remeber that quote about whatever has befallen you...

humdallah it does keep you going

Convert a Lemon Into A Sweet Drink

Islam gives us remedies for everything, the Prophet is our psychologists as E.Fayhmoui once said, no need for pills, just a proper understanding of Allah Inshallah. Islam has taught me a great lesson for life: coping skills...no matter what anyone says, theres nothing like the coping skills

Allah has taught us in the Quran how, one of them is...

Therefore do thou hold Patience,- a Patience of beautiful (contentment).

"If you have found Him, the you have found everything. And if you lose your faith in Him, then you have lost everything. If you are persistent and sincere in your supplication, you wil achieve freedom from worry and anxiety. If you are living through affliction, remember Allah, call out His name, and ask Him for help. Place your forehead on the ground and mention His praises, so you can obtain TRUE freedom"....

Inshallah we are of those who always turn to Allah in every moment of our lives, and we find comfort when turning to Him, especially when in times of hardships.

Dont Be Sad-Book

My favorite book ever! "Dont be sad by Aidah Ibh Abduallah AlQarni

I actually first read excperts from this book during H.S in my Islamic Studies class, but at that time I was just a silly student who didnt really care about what the teacher was trying teach us..and then during college at an ICPC event, Yusuf Estes was doing a live show for his "Gudiance TV " channel, and he said he recomnded this book to a non-Muslim and she became Muslim after, I got my copy the same day!

If you didnt read it, your living a hard life because this book teaches you how to deal with moments of sadness,depression, hardships, and etc. You can read it for free as an ebook here

http://www.dont-be-sad-alqarni.com/

I almost finished it once, and then I gave it to a friend to give it to her non-muslim classmate who sounded interested in Islam-he read the Quran..

 

Diversity Walk



The shirt I refused to wear -it was hot!

So I was right, I was the only hijabi at the diversity walk well there was other one ONE (or two dk). Humdallah Im thankful that I had the opprtuntity to represent Muslims, after all it is a walk aimed towards "diversity".  I walked with some professors from my College, which was nice but awkward lol..inshallah next time I want to get a whole group of Muslims to go...gota say that walk was long 3miles, but beautiful views of the water and the statue of liberty-the symbol of freedom.

The way there was also nice, I was cruising on "Freedom Road" with Maher Zains song "Freedom"..ironic huh?



Statue of Liberty-Freedom!

My Birthday

Today is my birthday, and it will be the only time the digits of my age match the day..On May 20,2012 I became 20,and yesterday was the last day I spent as a teenager, and it will also be the only day where I was 19 on May 19th 2012...cool right!! Lol

Also this is probably the first birthday in which I was able to particpate in a good cause, yesterday I was volunteering at an Islamic Relief fundraiser for Palestine, and today Inshallah I will attend the "Jersey City Diversity Stride"

Although its kind of embrassing that noone is really going to come along (even though i told my friends thats all I want for my bday) humdallah, as long as I am represneting the Muslims, I defintlly dont mind going alone! I always end up meeting great new people when Im alone-social skills.

http://2012diversitystride.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=993658&lis=0&kntae993658=0B4669D352C745BD8A32C18CDD9B5884&supId=0&team=5057680&cj=Y

Anyways, AlhumdAllah, I want to thank Allah for the amazing life He has given me and inshallah He only contunies to send His blesssings upon me, and always guide me,

"Ya muqalab alqulb tabaat quluban alya dynak"